One year Check-Up

The stats are 23 lb and 32.25 inches long. That makes him 75% in weight and still off the charts for height. His head is 18.5 inch around. (they always do the head so quickly that i don't understand how they get a good reading). He is 2.5 inches taller and 1 pound heavier than his sister was at the same age.

Baby P talked the whole time we were in the room. When Dr. Lu walked in he remarked that obviously he was vocalizing okay. I told him that we did have some words, which really surprised me. He went from not vocalizing at all to saying some words.

Did I tell you that I think baby P might be saying my name? When he seems me he says LaLa. He also sometimes calls LALA really loud when I am not in the room. Who knows! He is a funny old gus.

We are in a vaccine trial. We lucked out and were put in the control group so we don't have to take any additional shots. HURRAY!! He will still have to do blood draws, but that is fine. It is all worth it for science. I love the idea of studies like this. It makes me feel like I am part of something much bigger than myself.

Hannah Ma - tanna

Peanut has her first girl crush. It is Hanna Montana not Miley Cyrus. She thinks that the two girls are different. She rushes through dinner, takes her bath (she draws it herself) and instantly starts asking if she can watch "hannah ma-tanna". She then talks to the screen and tells Hannah how funny she is.

She talks on the phone to Hannah Ma-tanna in the backseat of the car. She puts her hand to her ear and says "what is your daddy's name? I can't come over today" and all sorts of things like that. She cracks me up.

She is also in love in the Jonas brothers. She says "those are my jonas".

It is funny to see a three year old go through this.

All fulled up

As I was loading the stroller today, i realized that I had no more room IN THE MINI VAN. Seriously, how does one fill up a mini van. Evidently one does it by having a gigantic stroller, a not so gigantic stroller, a internal frame backpack and a whole house hold of moving boxes.

I love the long weekends. I want to quit my job and have Mr. T. quit his job so we can stay home and work on the house, exercise, and play with kids. Even though it rained most of the weekend, I had a nice time just doing stuff.

Even if I was just a little bitty tiny bit hung over today. (Dam those presbyterians and their free flowing wine).

I started cleaning out stuff. I love to throw things away and get rid of things. Mom gave me a bunch of pictures that I went through. I threw out most of them. I simply do not need pictures of people that I went to high school with that I
a. don't like
b. don't care about
c. don't know where they are.
Now that I have written that, it sounds mean, but really there were a lot of pictures.

I am preparing the office and the spare bedroom for the big transition. I think I am going to put babyP in Peanut's room for a short time to see how that works. There are so many projects that we "need" to do in this house that setting a new bedroom might need to take a backseat for a while.

I just crave some sleep.

At least we know he is saying momma

We went to church today because we thought (and where wrong for the second time) it was/is Flash's last day in the pulpit. It was sad and good. I left feeling very good moving forward.

But this post isn't about a 70 year old soon to be retired preacher and his potential tears. Nope. This post is about a 1 year old and his tears. That little boy was in the nursery with Miss Quinn crying the whole time. I felt so bad for her and him. She said he would get himself together then say momma and start crying again. Sister tried to help, but he would just push her away.

At least I know he is saying momma.

Poor Quinn.

Poor Bear.


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I want him out of my room. I want to be able to lay on my bed and watch TV. I want to be able to get into my room when he is napping. I want my room back.

The problem is how? There is a lot of moving that needs to go on before sister can be moved into the office. So, I might try moving him into his sister's room until we get our office cleaned out and moved down to the spare room.

BabyP still isn't sleep through the night, so we will have to see how it all works out. I have a feeling that I will be moving him back into our room. It is worth a try though.
The work never ends.

Life Changing

So, I have been trying to get back to some of my old ways of using less and reusing more. It is hard to do with kids. It is hard to do when you have a new house....

so... We have started composting again. Mr. T. built the composter last night. I will be glad to put it to good use. It will especially make me happy come fall when I put it in my new vegetable beds. I think this summer I am slowly going to assemble a new veggie spot that will work with our new landscaping.

So I am trying to be more cognizant of what I use. We have a crappy recycling system here in the "village". We have to haul our stuff someplace to really have it recycled. We do it, but it is a real hassle. The plastic bags from the grocery store are out of control. I really try to bring reusable bags. For our big shop, I remember. What gets me is stopping in for just a couple of things. I never remember until I am at the checkout line and there is NO WAY I am leaving that line and my stuff to haul my kids out to the van for a bag. I think I might buy two of those bags that roll up really tight and stick them in my purse for such occasions.

I have also been trying to buy from local farmers more often. This system works great for me because I don't have to beat the crowds to show up early at the farmer's market. I like to bike on Saturday mornings so by the time I get to the Arkansas only farmer's market, they are about out of stuff. I think the prices are really reasonable except for the chicken, which is 3 times the store bought price. I am doing more vegetarian menus but it is hard because we don't eat a lot of dairy. Substantial vegetarian is hard to do without it. We are substantial meal kind of people.

I know there are more things I can do to reduce my impact. As they come up, we will be implementing more changes. One of the more obscure ones is that I have started washing my hair every other day. I figure I can save about half the shampoo that way. I can't really take credit for it because I heard about it on NPR, but it struck me as a pretty good idea.

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Another life changer is that I might be going back full time by no choice of my own. I am still holding out hope that we can come to some agreement.

I realize that I am very blessed to work a reduced week while my children are small. There are many women who can't do that. I feel like if I go back full time, something else is going to give. I really like where I am right now. I feel like I have a good balance. Isn't that what it is all about? Balance?

I am stressed out. I wake up and can't get back to sleep at night. I am grinding my teeth. I can't focus as work. It is hard for me to exercise. I feel all tense with my shoulders up over my ears. Mr T. thinks I am being too dramatic, but I don't think he realizes how much this means to me.

I have a whole other lists of worries but I can't get into them on the blog but they include my bad attitude and big mouth.

(And as a side note to commenters, my boss reads this blog, and it isn't her fault. She has my back and has been wonderfully supportive through this last month of messiness.)

Full of Fire

It is funny when I hear people talk about what boys do and what girls do because none of those things that are stereotypical girl really happen with Peanut. When say stereotypical girl, I mean being calm, not getting dirty, not getting into things and not climbing on things. As with most stereotypes, there is probably a reason why it exists.

At Peanut's recital tonight, it really hit home for me. She is different than other kids. She is rowdy and entertaining.

Below is her recital. It is a long clip (about 8 minutes), so if you watch it, you might want to let it run first on your computer then watch it on the replay after it has already run. Peanut is the second little girl to enter the stage. She is also the little girl in the front and middle most of the time. She is also the little girl who sits down. She is also the little girl who wonders off to the back of the stage and starts messing with the flowers.

She has good moves though. I am really proud of her for that and for being so entertaining.

Love Letter to a One Year Old

Dear BabyP

You turned one a couple of days ago. And in inexpensive modern style, you celebrated it in Ikea. Now some people may think it wasn't a very thoughtful way to spend your first birthday, but those people are wrong. At Ikea we bought two more of your favorite dogs that your sister calls raz-berri. You also got to munch on noodles and broccoli, two of your favorites. We gave you two different kinds of cake. You seemed to enjoy the chocolate pudding one, but you were easily distracted by trying to wipe your mat clean with a paper towel.

You are getting closer to walking. You are almost there, but you don't have the confidence to keep going. You have been sick the last couple of days so instead of walking you have been sitting on my lap with your head on my breasts. Or you have been throwing your gummy hands around my neck and pushing your face against me and saying hmmm before putting your head on my shoulders. You are a sweet sweet boy.

You are maybe talking a bit too. I think you might be saying momma, daisy, dada, hi, and bye bye. You were also copying me saying uh-oh in the grocery store yesterday. It is hard for me to tell if you are really saying these things or not. I know that I hear them, but I can't really judge your intention. You crawl toward me and say "momma" but do you do that to other people? I know you say dada a lot, but do you do it because you want your father or his attention? To me, it is one of those, "why ask why". Since it is impossible for me to know, I am just going with the assumption that you are brilliant and you mean to say all these things and more that we just don't understand yet.

I don't like leaving you. I don't remember this with your sister. I think the fact that I hate it so much has a lot to do with your sister. Even when I am with you, my attention is divided between you, your sister, and some other factor like dinner or bath or driving. Sometimes, I have to stop myself to really drink you in. I want to savor you.

Here are the things I always want to remember about you right now.

• You are all smiles with big eyes and cheeks.
• Your hair is just a little wispy to the point that soon it will need to be cut.
• You get really mad when you don't get your way, but then you get over it.
  
• Your breath is hot and you always try to bite my face.
• You give big hugs and say hmmmm when hugging.
• You love the dog.
• You love your sister.
• You are a good little traveler.
  

You are my little bitty angel. I tell people you are like sugar.

This first birthday has been both happy and sad for me. Sad because I know that was it. That was all the babies I am ever going to have. Even though I don't want another child, I have enjoyed your babyhood so much that I would keep you small longer if I could. It is also joyful for me because I am so excited about the child you have become. All of the worry of childbirth, getting pregnant, crib death, and absolutely not knowing if you are fine or not is all gone. You are a toddler now, and I just have to worry about you killing yourself. That doesn't sound like a feeling of relief, but it is. From here on out, I just have to teach you to not need me. I hope it works.

And I hope it doesn't.

I love you my sweet boy. Your more precious than gold.

Your mum.