Love Letter to a Seven Year Old

Dear BabyP,

My good and sweet boy.  Your sweet like the lollipop I say you look like.  You are all legs, arms, and ears.  You are wickedly funny and love to make people laugh.  You are my cuddle buddy and video game phenom.  You are my boy, and I love you dearly.  

This year we have struggled.  You have continued to come out of your shell, and in doing so, you have learned that you love making people laugh and will do most anything for a giggle.  Class is not a great place to make people laugh, and we both had to learn that.  There were a number of yellows and even a red, but we worked hard and we were able to work through it.  I think it was the first time I really saw you be responsible for your actions on a big scale.  It was the first time you really solved the problem.  

You do really well in school.  You are on the top tier for spelling, and your reading has improved dramatically over the year.  You have become more interested in books, but it is still a struggle to get you to read to me.  Thankfully, though, gone are the days where you sound EVERY WORD OUT.  You have most of the memorized by now.   You excel at math and science.  Parents who visit your classroom remark on how well behaved you are in class.  They also remark on how thoughtful you are in the answers you give.  You don't just blurt out an answer.  You think through the different aspects of the question.  I think that analysis will serve you well.  

You continue to love your sister.  I really like the relationship between you two.  It is part friend and part overseer.  Who the overseer is changes from time to time.  Sometimes you are taking care of her like when you think some kid at school may be bullying her.  I think what you confuse for teasing is really just boys wanting your sister's attention, but to you, it is an injustice that needs to be remedied.  Someone is messing with YOUR sister, and YOUR sister is yours to torture.  Yours alone.  

You are at a fun age of both little boy and big boy.  You know you shouldn't cry in front of your friends, so you save your tears for when you get home.  I sometimes see you and you just start crying.  It takes us a bit to work through what the issue was.  You don't want to be a baby, but you still love crawling onto my lap for a cuddle.  You shout "I'm a man" while throwing your arms around me and burying your face into my belly.  You think you have a "60 Pack chest", and that everyone is interested in it.   

You are starting to take an interest in girls, but it is in the most dude way possible.  You talk about how they love you, but in reality, I think you may have a crush or two.  There is one girl in particular that you splashed at the pool instead of talking to her.  We talked about it, and I think you did a bit better the next day.  

You are an amazing soccer player.  You understand what you need to do even if you can't necessarily do it at that point.  You are fast, and your smarts show on the field.  You listen and try to work as a team with your friend Jax. The coach and the team can rely on you to try hard and give it your all.  You fight for the ball, and you can take a hit.  I am proud of the sportsman you are, and I am looking forward to watching you grow.  

This is the first year that you have REALLY had a close friend.  Jax is someone that you picked as your friend, and someone who you share interests with.  Most of your friends to this point have been friends of convenience.  You have rarely sought out other children and have generally preferred to just hang out with me and your sister.  However, Jax and Eric, who live in our neighborhood, are your friends, and you constantly want to be with them. It is both fun and sad to see you build your own life.  It is important for you to do it, but as you do it, I realize that there are parts of you that I just will never know.  As a mom, I struggle with that.  

This year we also started camping and fishing, which you enjoy.  You joined cub scouts.  Cub scouts is not your favorite thing, but I think it is important for you to do.  As you get older, I can see you enjoying it more.  You enjoy being outside, and you enjoy riding your bike.  You are a fantastic helper, and you like helping the most when you get paid for it.  I can see you being a very smart business person or at the least taking care of me in my old age.  Especially since your sister already told me she was going to put me in a home.

I love you more than you will ever know,

Your mum.

Love Letter to a 4 Year Old

Dear BabyP,

My sweet boy is 4.  My little baby who tells me he is a big boy while needing me to wipe his bum is 4.  My handsome little devil who will both delight and annoy me is four.  My sweet, sweet boy is 4.

You love to cuddle me.  You crawl into bed with me and let me wrap myself around you, and you snuggle in tight.  It is amazing to me your desire for being around me and for cuddling me.  I often tell you "you are my favorite little boy."  and you tell me "you are my favorite little momma."  You yell "cuddle cuddle cuddle" and wrap your skinny little arms around my neck and hold me tight.  You tell me, "Momma, why are you so nice?  You are so nice to me every day.  Thank you, momma.  I love you."  You are either the sweetest little boy in the world, or you are incredibly perceptive on how to melt people into big gross piles of goo.

You are the constant entertainer, which is a change from a year ago when you were my quiet boy.  You run through the grocery store yelling and singing loudly because you can see that other people think you are cute and you eat it up.  Even though I need to advils and a glass a wine after taking you to the grocery store, the people at the store seem to eat it up.  You love to sing.  You make up funny songs about how you love one thing or another.  You repeat the same chant over and over again to annoy your poor sister.

For your birthday, we gave you some drums.  You talked about getting drums for months, so I thought you would be really excited when they came.  You just looked at them, hit them once, and said they were too loud.  I really expected to see you rocking out on them.  Instead, I was on the internet looking for hearing protection for both you and your sister.  Once the hearing protection arrived, you were much happier.  You are funny like that, you like to be rowdy, but you also have a lot of good common sense (for a 4 year old.)

Your music tastes have expanded from Brick House to "I love Rock and Roll" and just about any song by a strong woman singer.  You seem to be attracted to strong women singers, but when it comes to pop music, you HATE IT.   You get really upset when we play one of sissy's songs more than once.  You would rather hear the Cut Chemists or Foster the People.  I really wonder what kind of music you are going to like when you get older.  I can't wait to get you in some kind of lessons.

You also come up with these amazing stories about your Uncle Bobble Head.  Uncle Bobble Head is always having some crazy adventures.  I think at the table today, UBH had a house in a tree that he shot a gun from.  It was pretty long and drawn out.  I enjoy just listening to you in the car telling me about your day.  I get to hear if Addison has been nice or who hit who at school.  Sometimes, I get a confession from you that you had to sit on the red wall.  (Oh horror of horrors)

You drawing and coloring has improved dramatically over the last year.  You do a really good job coloring inside the lines, and you are a pro at cutting things out.  As far as doing your letter and numbers, you really like to work on workbooks, but I do not know how much you really know.  Sometimes, you really know your letters, but other times you seem to stammer and not really care.  It is hard to gauge a child who has much better things to do than sit around and answer trivial questions.

You still have your temper, although, you are learning to keep it under control a little bit.  I have seen you pull back to hit me but stop before doing it. You are able to turn the frustration off and explain to me what you are doing.  I hope you are always an emotional and sweet little boy, although, I do hope you outgrow hitting.  

At night, you will lay in bed really quiet for about half of an hour before popping up with some kind of bizarre observation.  "Momma, can I tell you something?"  Sometimes you will break into song, and sometimes you will pipe in on whatever your dad and I are talking about.  I think you use that time to gather information about what is going on in the adult world.  Sometimes, we can be strict with you telling you to go straight to bed, but other times, we sneak into your room and kiss and hug you because you are so undeniabley delicious to snuggle.

I love you little boy.  You say the funniest things and give the best cuddles.  You are warm and even when you are naughty, you are a lot of fun.  I love the little boy you are and the man you are becoming.

I love you,

your mum.

Love Letter to a 6- year Old

Dear Peanut,

Holy Cow!  Today we were talking about how we each have a 6 in our age.  I am 36 and you are 6.  Math is one of your favorite things to talk about, along with Egyptians.  You are one of my favorite things to talk about, along with your little brother.

I was thinking today on my run about how cool you are.  You are into science and anthropology.  You are learning to read, but I am willing to bet that you are way above your grade level in math.  You are well traveled and love to explore new worlds and cultures.  You are just really cool.  You are so cool that I am a little bit jealous of you.  I guess that is beauty of having a child.  You get to relive your childhood and add all the things that you ever wanted.  I feel so lucky to have you and to be able to do that for you.

Your extra activity that you do these days is dance.  I can tell a real difference between how you danced when you were smaller and how you do it now.  You take greater care to hold your body right and do the proper footwork.  I like seeing you do this because I really like the idea that you care about how doing it properly.  I still think the funniest video ever shot was your very first dance recital where you literally turned your back on the audience to play with the weird ivy decorations on the back part of the stage.

You are doing well in swimming.  You say you are ready to join the swim team.  Your father and I are not ready for that level of commitment to swimming yet, so maybe we will try it in the summer.  You can ride your bike, but you have been put off a bit by too many crashes. It really amazes me that you aren't all over your bike because you LOVE adventure and you LOVE things that can kill you.  At the table the other day you said, "sometimes, I wish we had hang gliders so we can jump off the back porch and sail around the backyard."  I have to admit, that would be pretty awesome, but so would going on a bike ride with my little girl.  The bike ride part is more attainable though.  You have also asked about going scuba diving.  I agree.  It is something we should try one day.

I wake up on the weekend mornings to find you curled up on the couch watching NOVA or National Geographic specials on Egypt and Egyptians.  You sit there spellbound taking it programming about dam building on the Nile while I flick through facebook and try to stay awake.  Your capacity for absorbing Egyptology is amazing to me.  YOU LOVE IT.  And it makes sense since you like foreign cultures, kings and queens, science and travel.  I see a lot of things about it that amaze you, and it makes me so proud to be your mom.

You are smart, but you are also very sassy.  You tell it how it is.  Like your father says "how the cow ate the cabbage."  You are bossy and slightly arrogant.  I don't see that as a bad thing.  It is important to be self assured.  You are hot stuff, and you know it. We just have to work on making that confidence bearable to be around.  We don't have far to go because you continue to an incredibly giving and sweet little girl.  You always bring a piece of whatever treat you get home for your brother.  You are very thoughtful when it comes to him.  You are the big sister and you take care of him.

I think your brother may be  your biggest fan.  He talks about you when you aren't around.  He is pesky and doesn't ALWAYS do what you want, but he absolutely adores you.  You two make a good team.  It is amazing to me how you excel in art but your brother seems to verbally express his creative more.  The irony is that you are an incredibly verbal person.

I love your smile and your sense of humor.  I love how you care for those around you and how you think for days about what present to buy people.  I love how you wake up in the morning and want to crawl into bed with me.  I love how you wake up and talk to me prior to getting your clothes on.  I love how you want me to be with you at your big milestones.  I love the person you are.

I love you,

your mum.

About a Boy

This little boy melts my heart with his sweetness, pickiness, and little boyness. He is cuddly and sweet and just about perfect in every way, until he is not.
And then he really isn't.
and will tell you about it.

 He HATES having his picture taken.  These are pictures of him running away from it.  He LOVES to take my picture.  Unfortunately, he is only 3 feet tall, so we don't get a lot of pictures of my head.

So, on our vacation, he was pumped about seeing these tanks.  He told me what the tanks were for.  They were to kill people.  Jesus!  Out of the mouths of babes.  I guess I had never really thought about it that way, but he is exactly right.  They are to kill people.  In fact, the ones we were posing next to likely killed people.  It made the whole thing feel so morbid.  It made me feel awful for how nonchalant he was about it.  I tried to talk a bit about it, but he was busy figuring out how they all worked.

Back on the guns again, BabyP picked up the guns in the gift shop and TOTALLY KNEW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.  I was shocked.  I guess it is something he picked up at daycare.  I can't think of anything he has seen at home where they have guns, and we haven't bought him a gun.  At daycare they are not allowed to even play fake guns.

I don't know how I feel about him and guns.  It is a toy afterall, and I am not opposed to guns.  The problem I have with toy guns is that they are naturally going to be turned on a person.  It just feels wrong to let him play death games with his sister.  On the flip side, I am sure I played guns with my brother, and I am fine, right?  (please nod your head since I don't have one)

He had a great time in the ocean.  He is starting to get more brave.  The great thing about BabyP is that he doesn't generally do things that will kill him.  I find this to be a big plus after parenting his sister.  He seems to think through things a little more.  Not that he isn't impulsive, he is three, but he knows that if he jumps into the pool and can't swim, it is going to suck.  He was not a fan of being smacked in the face with a wave or being pushed down, but as long as someone held his hand, he was fine with being smacked in the face with a wave or being pushed down.  He just needed to know that someone was there to help.  I think that says a lot about him.

He says all of these really wonderful and creative things.  He finally has enough of a vocabulary that he can tell us exactly what is in that little head.  Oh my, there is so much.  He walked into the room with his brow furrowed the other day and told his granny.  "There are no zombies in here."
Granny, looking quizically at him: "no.  I should hope not."
BP:  "If there was a zombie here, I would punch him in the booty."
Granny nods her head.
BP "There are no zombies here.  We have to go to the zombie park to see the zombies."
uh.... okay.... maybe he has been watching too much scooby doo.

But when this little boy decided to be difficult.  Oh dear.  Thankfully, he has grown out of hitting and kicking and that short bit where he was spitting.  He is much more vocal about his feelings.  His 'thing' is to tell us he can't do something.   For example, he needs to go to bed.  "I can't.  My legs are broken."  He needs to apologize to his sister.  "I can't.  I don't know how to talk."  He didn't take a nap "I don't know how to sleep."

He is really into "boy" things, which makes me laugh.  He told me the other day "My dad is awesome.  He has a race car."  He loves to figure out how things work and is always coming up with creative solutions to whatever problem we may have.  There was a story on NPR about a guy who won a Nobel prize for revolutionizing medicine.  Later than man needed the treatment he came up with.  I explained this to BabyP, who said, "I can make medicine.  You just get some gummy bears and put them in a big thing with some stuff and you smash them."  uh yay.... that is what I was thinking.

He took a map to school for show and tell.  I think that is pretty cool, because I really like maps.

This sweet boy gives the best hugs.  It always warms my heart to see him running towards me with his skinny arms waving.  "momma"  He grabs me and pulls me tight around the neck.  He always looks so happy to see me.  I don't think anyone could be happier to see me.  He is so sweet.

On being 5

Oh to be 5.  She is a very confident little girl.  She will go up and talk to everyone.  For example, on the beach, a guy had a metal detector and he was looking for coins.  Peanut asked him, "when you find the coins, are you going to give the money back?"  Awkward silence.... "Peanut we are leaving now."

I do enjoy her being so outgoing, but I do worry about it too.  I got a bit creeped out by the attention one man was giving her.  I am used to men speaking to me, but he was really into Peanut.  It grossed me out.  I was telling Mr. T. about it, and he agreed that we needed to watchful.  Peanut, however, thought it was great that someone older was more interested in her than me.  We had to quickly explain that it was wrong.  Very wrong.  Thank god she didn't ask the guy about it.  He was a security guard, so we saw him a lot.  I can just imagine her saying "My mom says you are more interested in me than her."  How embarrassing on so many levels that would have been!

She does have a way of calling it as she sees it, which she is working on.  She said at dinner one night, "this place is nicer than it looks."  I was so glad we could please her.

She is constantly talking.  She is very tactile and likes to explore, and then bring you along for the exploration with her.  It is really great and I am really happy that she does it, except that I also need to pay attention to her brother and her father and oh.... me.  So sometimes, more times than I will admit, I am guilty of just saying "ya" "that is great" "that is exciting" "uh-hu".  I was doing this to her the other day and she said, "you don't sound like you are really what I am showing you."  Ouch.  Parenting fail.  But it was true.  I didn't really like what she was showing me.  I just didn't want to tell her.

I think this child might be part mermaid.  She loves the water, and she is really good at things in the water.  She is really good at taking a wave in the face, getting up and smiling about it.  She really loves to boogie board and body surf.  She is at the age, now, where I can really start to think about all of the cool things we are going to get to do together.  I want to take her to Hawaii to surf.  I want her to take lessons in Australia.  I want to learn how to scuba dive with her.  There are so many cool things we can do, and I really think she wants to do them.

The next thing we are going to do together is the Little Rock Marathon.  There is a group called the "Little Rockers" where she will run a marathon over a series of months.  She really likes to run on trails so I asked her if she would be interested in doing it.  The first thing out of her mouth was "would I be doing the whole or the half?"  LOL.  I told her we could be training partners and tell one another about our runs.  She sees me leave for my runs, so I thought it might be a fun way to bond.  Maybe we can run together a little bit.  

She is also a crazy ham for the camera.  It is funny that she thinks that putting things in her mouth is really cute.  I really can't seem to convince her otherwise.  I don't really know what put that in her mind, but it is there.  She thinks she looks cute with her mouth open.

She is growing out her bangs.  I am happy.  It does annoy me when her hair is in her eyes, but most of the time, we can get her to put it back.  I really like seeing her pretty face.  She looks so different with bangs.  She looks much more like a little girl now that they are growing out.

Man... She is growing up so fast.  She wants to dance all the time and dress up.  She is starting to read.  She knows her site words and will point them out to us.  She also has, can you believe this, homework.  It doesn't take more than 5 minutes to do, but man... homework.  Honestly, I don't remember having a lot of homework as a kid.  I am sure there is some reason for it, but I can't honestly tell you I know what it is.  She is writing letters, something she has been doing since she was her brother's age.

And she is still a sweat hearted little girl.  It is fun to see how her personalities molds and responds to the her changing life.  She is so sweet with her brother.  She helps him out when he is being a booger.    She loves to help out around the house, when it suits her.  She is so proud of herself when she cleans her room or makes her bed.  She is spunky and outgoing, and I just lover her to pieces.

Love Letter to a 3- Year Old

Dear BabyP,

My sweet boy, you turned 3 over the weekend.  We had a great weekend spent doing things you like to do, eating things you like to eat, and cuddling.  

You are a hard little boy to describe to people.  You can be so thoughtful and sweet, but you can also be a little tyrant.  You are adjusting your nap schedule, which means your mood swings rule the house.  You are blunt and prone to hitting when you don't get your way.

But the thing is, I understand that.  I understand wanting to pull your sister's hair when she isn't listening to me.  I understand being so mad that you didn't get what you want that you kick the wall or throw your toys.  What I don't understand is how you will go to great lengths to prove your point.  If I tell you that if you don't do X then you won't get Y, you don't care.  If you don't want to do X, then you will tell me directly that you don't want Y.  For example, if you don't clean your mess, then you can't have a special treat.  You will take your punishment as a badge of honor because there is no way you are going to clean up your mess.  You are stubborn in ways I could only imagine a child could be stubborn.

But you are also so loving.  You give the biggest hugs.  You tell me that I am beautiful.  You tell me "I like you all the time."  And you look at me with your big brown eyes.  You tell me "I just want my momma."  You make me feel like a super hero because I feel like my hugs can wash away any hurt.  I feel invincible.

I know I am your number one, but you make other people feel the way you make me feel.  There is a teacher at school that worked with you when you had the skin infection.  She changed your bandage every day.  You told me that she always makes you feel better.  She told me you were a huggy boy.  One day, she was wearing a new shirt and you told her "you look beautiful."  I wish I could bottle the smile she gave you.  I hope you always remember the power of words.

One of the things I think that is so interesting about you is that you really bond with people.  You are a sweet boy who just climbs inside people's souls.  People are more likely to notice your sister, because she is always talking and acting out.  You just sit quietly and observe.  You answer questions when they are asked.  You aren't shy, but you aren't likely to initiate conversation with anyone.  People who have the fortune of being in contact with you, really like you.

I think in that way, you are the perfect little brother to your sister.  You care about her feelings, but comfortably let her shine.  She is also good for you in that she drags you along and stretches you beyond your limit.  Luckily, you are also strong enough to tell her when you have had enough.

I have been on the road the last couple of weeks.  So there have been nights when your father was your only caregiver. A couple of nights, you crawled into bed with him and slept.  It is nice to see how your relationship with him has changed over the last few weeks.  You are still mean to him, "I don't want you, daddy.  Go away.  I don't want to cuddle you." But, I can tell that the meanness is only half hearted because when he cuddles you, you don't scream.  When he isn't around, you ask about him constantly.  "Where is my daddy?  I want my daddy."  I think a perfect day for you would be to be with me, him and sissy all day.

You love to run and ride your bike, but you also like to read or play dress up with sissy.  You are big into trucks and tractors, but you still need your mom to tuck you in at night.  You are rough and rowdy, but you need lots of kisses and hugs.  When you see your sister after you wake up, you always give her hug, but you NEVER want to pick her up from school.  "Let's not get sissy today, momma.  I want to go home."

You love music.  You love singing.  For your birthday, all you wanted was a guitar.  You now sleep with the guitar and play it constantly.  When we are in the car, you ask about it.  I hope that you write in the liner notes of your first album.  "thanks mom and dad for that great guitar you gave me when I was three."  Your favorite song is "Brick House", and you sing it constantly.  You are strongly loyal to that song, because you will not admit to liking any other song.  " Did you like that song?"  "No, I like 'Brick House'

Other things of note.  You say NO all the time.  You don't like stickers.  When you teacher gives you stamps at tumble and play, you accept them, but then ask me to wash them off.  You don't really like to do crafts, but your drawing is improving.  You like play-doh.

You are all little boy, with lots of sweetness and sugar thrown in too.  You can be a total mess to deal with, but you can also pull it together when you need to.  You are sweet, handsome, and perfect.  I wouldn't want you any other way.



With Love,

Your mum.

Love Letter to a 5-year Old

Dear Peanut,

It is hard to believe that you are 5 years old.  It seems like the years are going to quickly that it makes me anxious that you are going to be out of the house before I even know it.  Although you tell me that you are never going to move out of my house and that we are going to be together forever, I know that you will go.  Even though you are the mighty 5, there are things you just don't know. 

I have to say that if any parent is going to start off with a child, you are the perfect child to start off with.  You are compassionate and kind.  The thing that is hardest to deal with about you right now is your constant need to talk.  I think it will be my greatest tool in helping you through life.  I often tell you that you came out of me talking, which is pretty close to truth.  You started talking really early and have never stopped.  I say it is an asset because this year we have been able to work through some sticky friendship situations.  I feel lucky that you are so open with us about it.  I know it is because the easiest way for you to work things out is to talk them through.  It isn't anything to do with our parenting, but I think it will make being your parent a lot easier as you grow older.

You are really into clothes, but your fashion sense will develop overtime (hopefully).  You have no real need to wear matching clothes.  We don't fight you on this because we feel like 1.  It isn't worth it 2.  This is the one time in your life when you truly get to wear what you want to  3.  we like to see what crazy things you come up with.

You love to draw and create things.  You are happiest when you are working through a craft or cooking with me.  It is exciting for me to have you cooking because we get to talk about measuring and the interactions of the ingredients.  Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I feel like I am in a dream.  When I thought about having you, these were the things that popped into my head.  I feel so happy that you are interested in how things work and creating good things to eat.  It is fun to teach you things on the sly.  It is fun to be your mom.

You have always been outgoing, but this year you really understood what it was like to have friends.  I think I didn't prepare you enough for going to your new school.  After only a day, you loved it, but that first day was really difficult for you.  Because you are so happy and easy going, I forget that you are still a small child who needs to be prepared for things.  I think you were swept up in the excitement with us and not allowed to prepare for the big change.  I hope I can remember this next time.

This year you learned to do things like swing by yourself on the big swings and start to learn to ride a bike.  You can swim.  You love to swim and would swim every day if we would let you.  Unfortunately, your father and I are too lazy to take you very much.  This year was the first year that you didn't take ballet.  I think you missed it.  You are doing a tumbling class at the gym and seem to like it, but you keep talking about taking ballet.  I think next year, we are going to sign you up for ballet again.  We won't even talk about the tennis lessons you took.

You are starting to learn to read.  You know all the sounds of the letters, but you don't really care to work on sounding words out with me.  I don't know why that is.  You are obsessed with spelling "stop".  We hear you tell your brother a lot "S-T-O-P".  You can recognize everyone's name in our small family and have somehow managed to memorize all the numbers for your friends at school.  You love math and science, and have grown attached to learning about penguins.  I think the penguin obsession started with a blanket that was given to your father and has grown from there.

You worry about things like who you are going to marry when you grow up, but you seem okay with it because you have a lot of boyfriends.  You told me today that you want to travel the world and asked me if there was snow in Africa.  (You only wanted to travel to the "hot places")

You are a true joy to be around. You are girly and tough. It is neat to see you make sense of the world in your own excited and understanding way.  I tell you a lot to slow down and concentrate, which is funny because I am always telling you to hurry up when I am trying to get you out the door.  You are dreamy and creative with a keen eye for doing what needs to be done.

Your smile always melts my hear and your creativity amazes me every day.  I love you more than you love me because the world couldn't handle all the love if you loved me like I love you.  (I say this to you a lot and you say "you always say that").
Your momma

To find out what you were like at other ages look at.  Sorry I pulled the pictures.
One year- that i some how managed to miss
Two year
Three year
Four year