Love Letter to an 18 month old

For some reason I have been dreading this letter. I think it may not so much be this letter as this day. I have been watching your babyhood slip away slowly. You are a toddler. You are your own little person with wishes and desires of you own. It is beautiful and sad all at the same time. Sad because you are growing up, and you will continue to grow and leave these stages and eventually me behind. But beautiful because I am so proud of the human you are, and I can see the potential for the human you are going to be.

Every night I go into your room to straighten you out from the corner you crawled into. Last night you had put your feet between the bars, and they were hanging off the bed. It took me a minute to realize you were asleep because it was such an odd position and your hand kept stroking your baby. I understand how you feel about your baby. I would snuggle and hold you all night long if I could, but those days are gone. Us sleeping together is akin to a wrestling match. You kick and nurse or kick and talk until you finally fall asleep. Generally, you end up in a weird position that pushes me towards the end of the bed. You also sweat a lot when you sleep with me on our bed. Our bed is hot and granted generally you are sick when we sleep together, but that doesn't make it any more comfortable for me.

Your favorite words these days are "mine" and "no". You don't say mine is such a way that you are whiny, you are simply stating that you know someone is going to give you the object you want so they might as well hurry up because you already know it is yours anyway. You will tell someone mine about 3 times before breaking down in hysterics. Luckily, the hysterics are fairly short lived. I like that about you. You know that there are better things to do with your time then wonder around feeling sorry for yourself. It also worries me a bit when you get up and toddle off because the thing that distracted your attention may also be on the prohibited list.

Yesterday you were combing my hair and saying pretty. I asked you if mommy was pretty and you said "no". I didn't take offense because I then asked you if you were good at saying the word no and the answer was "no".

You continue to amaze us every day. I try not to gush on and on about how much I love you or how adorable I think you are, but it is hard. Your father and I relay stories about you when you go to bed, so we can relive one more time something cute you did or even something naughty. Being a parent is more fun then I ever imagined, but I think most of that has to do with you. Sure you hit and bite, but you are also incredibley loving and funny. Things roll off of you like water, and you are smart as a tack. Change doesn't bother you, and I have rarely seen you afraid of anything or anyone. You can take big falls that make me wince in pain, but get up without much more than a whimper. You are amazing. Even though I know you will change and grow, I hope you will always stay the same.

I love you,
your mum